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Sunday, 8 May 2011



Hi guys! Great to be back! Feeling much better now! And I got some quiet time thanks to Sherlock going over to see Hellboy for a short while. Thanks Hellboy ;)

Sherlock: ...He didn't take to me very kindly. He started jabbering wildly and holding crosses up at me like I was some sort of vampire.

Skylara: *sighs* Your just not a people person. You spend most of your time with dead people for God's sake!

Sherlock: ...Dead people are fun....

Skylara: *ponders* Fine. But John's not.

Sherlock: ...Point taken.

Anyway... I was going to post this as a one part story (as I really want to get back to Skylara's Strange Dream ASAP)'s taking me just too darn long to type up.

It's all written in my writing book, it just needs typing up.

...and it's 38 pages long.

So...yeah. You can imagine how long that takes.

BUT I am gonna post it in 3 parts, the third part slightly shorter than the other two.

I'll try and post one part a week, if I type like a ninja ;) Although I never have seen a ninja type....

And here, is part one of.........SIMPLY MIND-BOGGLING!

Simply Mind-boggling
“Why are we going to this again?” Dragona sulked as he trudged slowly behind Kallista.
“Because it was my New Year’s resolution to try as many new things as possible!” she replied merrily.
“A Murder Mystery night?” Dragona raised his eyebrows.
“Yes! It will be fun!” she insisted.
“I didn’t make that New Year’s resolution.” He huffed, kicking a nearby stone.  “Why do I have to come?”
“Because I love you.”
“The REAL reason Kallista.”
Kallista hesitated. Finally, she sighed in defeat. “’s because you get a free ice-cream if you bring a guest! Oh look!” she said quickly changing the subject so that she wouldn’t start feeling guilty again. “There’s Skylara, Sherlock and Octa!”
Before Dragona could reply Kallista grabbed his hand and dragged him through the sea of people towards their fellow companions. Skylara soon spotted them and waved them over.
“What are you guys doing here?” Dragona exclaimed once they had fought their way to them.
“My deduction skills kinda need some work...” Skylara admitted sheepishly. “I’ll never be as good as Sherlock but I’ll be ecstatic if I’m even half as good so I’m trying to get as much practice in as possible before I go out sleuthing.”
“I heard there would be free ice-cream.” Octa shrugged.
“I thought that was only if you brought a guest?” Kallista said looking puzzled.
 “My guest shall be along shortly...”  Octa said, smiling mysteriously.
As they neared the entrance to the building, Dragona pulled out his wallet to get the tickets, cursing silently when he had no luck finding them. He turned to Kallista and began to justify himself but before he’d even got the first word out, she rolled her eyes and took out here purse. “Spares.” She flapped them in his face tauntingly. “Honestly Dragona, what would you do without me?”
People began to mutter angrily around them as a loud clanking noise drew closer and closer.
“S’cuse me!  Coming through!” they heard a familiar voice yell. Crowds of people reluctantly parted to allow a small figure to make her way towards the friends.
“Well Mar-Chu, you defiantly know how to make an entrance!” Skylara chuckled running forward to pull her through the last few disgruntled by-standers.
“Mar-Chu!” Kallista sang happily, beaming as always, much brighter when greeting one of her close friends. “You are Octa’s guest I presume?”
Mar-Chu shook her head. “I brought along my own guest.” She patted her frying pan proudly.
“...A frying pan?”
Mar-Chu hummed in response.
“Err...I don’t think frying pans count as guests Mar-Chu.”
“Aww!” she whined. “But this one’s called Sammy!”

Once they were inside, Mar-Chu dragged Skylara and Kallista off towards the ice-cream stall and Octa went off to look for his mysterious guest, leaving Sherlock and Dragona alone.
Dragona still felt very unsure of the detective. He didn’t particularly like Sherlock. He felt that he was far too arrogant for his own good. Still, he would try to get along with him- if only for Kallista’s sake.
“Hey Sherlock.” He said in as much of a friendly manner as he could muster, putting on a smile and offering out his hand.
“Ahh, Dragona!” Sherlock said with an enigmatic grin, shaking Dragona’s outstretched hand. “Your car is fixed I hope?”
“What? How did you-?”
“Obvious really, you smell of petrol but have tried to mask it with a strong cologne- quite unsuccessfully might I add. Also when you opened your wallet I noticed a bus ticket from this morning, therefore you mustn’t have taken your car, perhaps as it was still in the garage after you tried to repair it but failed rather miserably when you hit your head on the bonnet.” He indicated to the small bump on Dragona’s forehead. “Wasn’t a difficult leap. I child could have worked it out.” He smiled at Dragona’s bewildered expression.
“...You really irritate me.” Dragona growled after a moment of stunned silence.
“Oh, and there I was thinking that your knuckles were getting gradually whiter because you actually liked me.”
  “Do most men punch you every time you open your mouth?”
“Some try but I usually out-wit them. It also helps that most of the time I’m with either an ex-army doctor who knows over 150 ways to kill a man or a magical shape shifter who could just as easily rip out their throats. Speaking of which...”
Skylara, Kallista and Mar-Chu bounded back, their arms laden with ice-creams and various beverages.
“Hey guys!” Skylara said beaming at them. “Sherlock, I know you don’t like eating so I just got you some tea-is everything all right?” She looked between the two men. Sherlock was grinning like a child on Christmas morning and Dragona looked like he wanted to kill something. And soon.
“Oh, we’re fine, we were just discussing Dragona’s car issues weren’t we Dragona?” Sherlock replied, sipping his tea smugly.
Dragona murmured angrily something about finding Octa and stormed off into the crowd. The three girls exchanged glances but said nothing. They were far too interested in their ice-creams to get involved.
Dragona and Octa returned a few minutes later, still without any sign of Octa’s unknown guest. Just as they had taken their seats the announcer’s voice boomed from the front of the room. “Which of you will solve the mystery of the Montague diamond thief? Let the hunt begin!”
2 Minutes Later...
Mar-Chu grunted as she swung her frying pan high in the air to shield herself from an in-coming coke can. Sammy made a satisfying clank when it made impact but before Mar-Chu could celebrate an ice-cream came flying her way and she had to continue running for her life.
“Great idea Skylara!” Dragona groaned sarcastically as the gang sprinted around the next corner. “Bring the World’s so called ‘greatest detective’ to a murder mystery night! It’s not like he’s going to solve the case in a matter of seconds and then mock everyone else around him!”
“I didn’t mock them!” Sherlock protested.
“You called them all idiots!”
“They are! Apes have more brain cells than some of those twits!”
No sooner than he’d said it, a flaming chuck on wood flew past his head, missing his charcoal locks by millimetres.
“Looks like the apes have just discovered fire.” Kallista muttered, quickening her pace.

They’d been running for at least 15 minutes. Dragona and Sherlock had to start carrying Octa after the first five minutes- although the wise old poet had been pretty swift considering he was around 7 millennia old, but fatigue soon set in and everyone had insisted that he was to be carried.
Skylara paused to glance behind them and swore loudly. The angry mob of crime lovers were still hot on their tail and didn’t seem to be slowing any time soon.
“I’ve had enough of this!” she barked. She spotted a dark alleyway and ushered everyone into it. “Right!” she said, her voice ringing with authority. “Mar-Chu, with me, everyone else behind those bins!”
“But-“ Dragona began to protest.
“NOW!” she yelled in a voice no one would dare argue with. She whispered quickly to Mar-Chu and by the time she’d finished a mischievous smile had developed across Mar-Chu’s face.
The angry bellows of the crowd drew near. They had to act fast.

Richard was angry. He’d spent good money on those mystery night tickets and then some poncy detective and his gang of misfits had to go and ruin it all.
He heard a dustbin crash down a nearby alleyway. A wide grin spread across Richard’s face. It wasn’t a nice grin. It looked wrong. Crazed and wild. He felt crazed and wild...Richard liked it.
“Down here!” Richard shouted to the rest of the mob, his voice dripping with anticipation. “Ohh,” he chuckled sinisterly. “We have them now.”
But as soon as he turned the corner Richard’s grin vanished. Standing before him, were two magnificently terrifying majestic white lions, baring their glistening pearly teeth menacingly.  Richard had never seen anything so beautiful or so monstrous in his whole entire life.
Everything went silent. The crowd just stood there, gawping at the beasts. Then one of the lions let out a terrorizing roar and the crowd scattered like startled rabbits. Richard dropped his own weapon and ran for his life, all his bravo gone in an instant, whimpering fearfully as he went.
Once the crowds had fled the two girls shifted back to human form and high-fived one another in celebration.
“Well that’s going to make front page news tomorrow!” laughed Mar-Chu.
“Let the magical community clear it up!” Kallista said coming out of her hiding place. “You girls were so bad-ass! Totally worth it!”
The three girls started whooping and dancing gleefully until Octa cleared his throat. They stopped immediately and looked at Octa with full seriousness. They had a great respect for the old poet as Octa said nothing unless it was filled with wisdom.
“I think it would be wise if we...hang low for a short while.” He suggested.
Dragona nodded. “Anyone know where we can go within ten minutes walking distance?” he enquired.
“I have a flat I sometimes use when commin’ up to London.” Skylara shrugged.
“Either that or there’s my flat.” Sherlock offered.
“Not you’re flat.” Skylara said a little too quickly.
“What’s wrong with it?” Sherlock asked looking a little hurt.
“It’s riddled with dangerous experiments!”
“So? As long as no one touches anything-“
“Do you really think all five of us won’t touch anything?” she said raising her eyebrows and gesturing to her friends around her.
Sherlock paused a moment to take them all in. Then he realised exactly what Skylara had meant. He imagined cats crawling all over his work, Dragona exploding the eyeballs in his microwave, Kallista screaming at the severed head in his fridge.
“Your place it is.” He agreed shivering at the thought of his precious experiments being tampered with.

“Here it is.” Skylara said reaching for the key in her pocket. “It ain’t much but it’s a place to stay when I’m up here.”
As soon as Skylara opened the door the strong scent of pine hit them full on. It wasn’t overpowering though. It smelt just like they were in the middle of the forest.
Skylara chuckled slightly when she saw their expressions. “What can I say? I like wolves and I like forests.”
Inside the flat was quite large. Although the floor was wooden, if felt soft and cosy underfoot. Skylara explained that she knew a guy who could do a home comfort spell.
Sherlock took off his scarf and coat and put them on a nearby coat hook. While the others took in their surroundings, he walked over to a very comfy looking red armchair, settled down, closed his eyes and began pondering silently to himself.
The way the detective just swanned about like he owned the place infuriated Dragona to the very core. He was just about to say something him when the cinema sized flat-screen TV mounted to the wall caught his eye. All his anger seeped away and he just gazed at it in awe.
Beneath it was a long row of well over 500 DVDs. Dragona ran his fingers along them, they were all in alphabetical order save some of Skylara’s favourites which were right at the end so that she could reach them easily.
Kallista wandered into the kitchen and gave out a small gasp of wonder. It was simply sparkling. Everything was in its right, proper place and the kitchen looked as though it had never been touched.
“How do you keep it so clean?” she asked when she heard Skylara’s steady footsteps behind her.
“Same guy who did the home comfort spell. Hell, without him all of my flats and houses would be hell holes! I don’t do cleaning. Want his number?”
“Heck yeah!” Kallista exclaimed, practically gliding around the smooth kitchen floor.
Kallista and Skylara returned to the living room with some drinks and Pringles. Dragona was ‘Ohh’ing and ‘Ahh’ing at Skylara’s impressive DVD collection, Sherlock was still in a world of his own, Octa was busy observing a detailed painting of a bay stallion and Mar-Chu was happily smelling the floor.
“Your flat is so awesome Skylara!” Dragona complimented as he picked up a carving of a kingfisher to examine the extreme attention to detail.
All of a sudden Sherlock’s eyes flew open. “Have you showed them the basement? The basement’s the best bit; you have to show them the basement.” He babbled enthusiastically.
“Basement? It seems your flat is...bigger on the inside, so to speak Skylara.” Octa said, smiling secretively to himself.
“Ok.” Skylara shrugged beckoning them down the hall towards some descending stairs. “It’s really nothing much, I don’t know why Sherlock’s making such a fuss about it.”
The door opened to reveal a huge room, its walls covered with shelves holding thousands and thousands of books. In the centre of the room, was some comfy looking chairs and a small coffee table with a pretty little violin resting upon it.
The only part of the room that was nearly empty was one of the far corners which had a reasonably sized matt which they assumed was for fighting practice.
“Jeez Sky!” whistled Mar-Chu. “You’re giving China a run for her money here!”
“You play?” Octa asked indicating to the violin.
They heard Sherlock chuckle quietly to himself as he followed them down the stairs. “Not exactly,” he said smiling smugly at Skylara while she glared at him furiously. “I was trying to teach her but-“
“Don’t.” Skylara growled in warning.
“But she got a little annoyed with it and tried to smash it over my head.” Sherlock continued ignoring her.
“I wonder why?” Dragona muttered earning him a stony glare from the detective.
“You’re lucky it was just the violin and that I didn’t use any of this,” Skylara skipped over to one of the bookshelves and pulled on a copy of ‘Gone with the Wind’. The bookshelf slid aside to reveal an array of immaculate and very deadly looking weapons. Skylara mainly had bows, cross-bows, grenades, a couple of shurikans, some hand guns- a rather nice British Army browning L9A1 included, fencing foils and an impressive pair of knee-high black leather boots.
“Boots? Stylish but not so deadly...” Kallista commented doubtfully.
Skylara clicked the heels of the boots together three times and a pair of retractable blades shot out of the front of them.  “Don’t be so sure.” She said with a sly grin.
“Have you got any frying pan oil?” Mar-Chu blurted out abruptly.
Everyone just stared at her for a second or two, in pure shock, alarmed at her random outburst.
“Umm...try the kitchen?” Skylara replied slowly.
“Thanks!” Mar-Chu said merrily before darting straight up the stairs.
“Strange girl...” Sherlock muttered shaking his head before picking up the violin and quietly plucking on its delicate strings.
Suddenly Octa cocked his head to one side as if he was listening to a distant sound.
“My guest is about to arrive I do believe.” He announced.
“What? How could they-?” Kallista didn’t get to finish. A strange whooshy humming noise drowned her out. It seemed strangely familiar...
“No way!” Skylara exclaimed, her eyes glistening with realisation and excitement. “It can’t be-, you-how?”
A blue box appeared in the middle of the room. The whooshing began to cease and everyone gawped at it in amazement.
The door creaked open and a familiar man with a bow-tie and quiff popped his head out, strangely reminding them of a meerkat. He looked at their expressions and frowned slightly.
“What?” he asked sounding confused. “I haven’t got anything on my face have I?”
Dragona rubbed his eyes, not believing what he was seeing.
 Skylara began jabbering in pure shock.
Kallista slowly walked up to him and just stared.
“Erm, hello?” The Doctor tried, waving his hand in front of Kallista’s face when she was less than 10cm away from him.
Kallista reached out and poked his hair. Then she giggled and started jumping up and down with glee.
“Oh my God! You are actually real!”
Octa walked up to Kallista and dragged her a few metres away from the doctor as he was starting to look a little uncomfortable. “Sorry, I knew they’d react like this.” He said apologetically. “They’ll be fine in a minute. How are you my friend?”
“Octa my man!” the Doctor said hugging the poet affectionately. “How long has it been? Fifty years?”
“More like eighty!”
Sherlock stared at the strange man with the blue box that had seemingly appeared out of thin air. He looked no older than thirty but by the way he held himself and by the distant look in his eyes Sherlock was certain he was much older. But why on Earth was everyone acting so strangely around him?
“I’m sorry but who is this man?” he demanded as bluntly as ever.
Skylara stopped her jabbering and blinked at him. “You don’t know? Aww hell!” she said smacking her forehead. “I have some work to do; we are so having a sci-fi TV night!”
“He’s the Doctor!” Dragona said throwing his hands up in disbelief. “How can you not know THE DOCTOR?”
Sherlock’s eyebrows creased down in puzzlement. “Doctor who?”
“Exactly!” everyone cried out.
“Here are the basics,” Kallista strode up to Sherlock and grabbed him by the shoulders before he could back away uncomfortably. “Time traveller, alien, good, time machine, hero, bow ties, darleks, got it?”
Before Sherlock could reply, Skylara ran past him and shook the Doctor’s hand frantically.
“I’m such a huge fan!” she squealed.
The Doctor flicked his quiff and smiled. “Why thank-you, I-“
“I thought you were my huge fan?” Sherlock interrupted, whining like a stubborn child.
“Hush Sherlock- I’m talking to a Time Lord in my basement!” she said dismissing him with her hand.
“Can we see inside your Tardis?” pleaded Dragona.
“Yes can we, can we, can we?” Kallista and Skylara chorused jumping up and down as if they were little school girls.
The Doctor looked at Octa’s amused expression and sighed. “Are they always like this?” he asked.
Octa chuckled. “They normally manage to retain at least some of their dignity...”
The Doctor opened the door and the three friends piled inside, cackling madly and letting out screams of pure joy as they went.
Octa shook his head at the Doctor as they followed them inside, leaving Sherlock still frowning and trying to figure out what had just happened.

“Ok everyone!” the Doctor said, spinning around wildly in his Tardis like an over-excited puppy being let off the lead for the first time. “Don’t touch anything, especially not that button!” he indicated to the big red button Dragona was just about to lean on.
“Why?” Kallista questioned. “What does that button do?”
“It makes the Universe spontaneously combust.”
“No! Don’t be silly, that’s the big green button over there. THAT button makes me peanut butter sandwiches.”
Kallista frowned. “Why did you tell us not to touch it then?”
“I’m allergic to peanuts.”
Kallista nodded as if it made perfect sense, but as soon as the Doctor’s back was turned she made a ‘coo-coo’ signal to Dragona making him snort into a fit of laughter.
The Doctor turned to Octa and smiled.
“Wanna do something fun?” he said, his eyes glistening with excitement.
“Define fun...” Octa said suspiciously, eyeing up his friend cautiously.
The Doctor laughed. “Dance Party!” he exclaimed as he hit a button that looked a bit like a dog’s chew toy.
The whole Tardis started shaking violently, making them all crash and stumble around uncontrollably.
The Doctor frowned in confusion. “That’s not supposed to happen...” he murmured.
Skylara screamed as she got knocked off her feet by Dragona and went flying into the control panel.
“Skylara!” Sherlock bellowed, panicking when he heard her cry out and frantically rushing into the Tardis like a madman, ready to save the day. Well...until he was thrown off balance and somersaulted over a metal barrier, crashing onto the floor with a grunt.
Then there was a blinding flash of white light and everything went still...

Kallista awoke feeling light-headed and woozy. She groaned as she sat up. What the hell had just happened? The last thing she remembered was Dragona running over to shield her and a huge bright light.
Hmm. Was she wearing those shoes before? And since when were her legs so long? She looked down at herself and did at double-take.
“What the-“ She tried to screech but her voice came out in a low rumble. Kallista looked around; her friends were sprawled across the Tardis unconscious-wait! In the far corner she could just make out...
And then she did scream, a low scream for her but still a pretty ear-splitting scream none the less.
Mar-Chu burst into the Tardis, her frying pan held high above her head, ready for anything.
“Sherlock! What happened?” she said looking right at Kallista.
“I’m not Sherlock!” she wailed. “I’m Kallista!” she tried to stand up but started screaming again. “Why am I so darn lanky?” she demanded. The floor looked so far away.
“Ahh!” said the body of the real Kallista. “Why is everyone screaming? Woah...what the hell happened to me?” she asked, her eyes widening at the sight of herself.
“Who are you and why are you in my body?” Kallista raged at herself, raising her fist threatingly.
“Woah! Sherlock? I’m Skylara!” Skylara shouted back in Kallista’s body.
Skylara’s own body sat up in an instant, suddenly alert. “Did someone say Skylara?” She said. “Where is she? Is she hurt? Is she-?” She began to frown. “Why am I over there?”
Octa groaned and sat up. “Why do I feel so tired and achy?” he asked. “And strangely...full of wisdom?” 
The Doctor jumped to his feet. “What on Earth happened?” he asked sounding worried and concerned.
Finally, Dragona sat up and cocked his head to one side. “Never pressed that button before...” he murmured quietly to himself.
Everyone gawped at each other in a confused silence. After around five minutes had pasted Mar-Chu finally broke the silence.
“Ok,” she said slowly. “What the bloody hell happened when I went to get my frying pan?”


  1. *epic scream*


    When I was just reading this on my moms iphone, my cousin looked for my shoulder. I twitched and jumped away from her, and she cackled madly and yelled-


    And that became our joke for the day! XD

  2. Lol Mar-Chu!

    Gald you liked it!

    Sherlock: She liked what I said even better.

    Skylara: Hush! Go talk to your dead friends!

    Sherlock: At least they respect my genius....

  3. *grins*




    Me: *waves* HEEEEEY MARTIN!



    Cousin: *squeals* ME LOOKED AT ME!

    Haha. Now I must go and try to tie my hair with a bracelete USB drive thing.

  4. OMG!!!!

    Such a big Doctor Who fan!!!!!!

    Fangirl scream!!!!

    I'm guests with the doctor!!!

    So cool!!!


    LOVE IT!!!!

    The Doctor!

    I'm still hyperventilating!!!


    THANK YOU!!!

  5. FTL!
    Various other people I know!

    Too much win!!!

  6. LOL
    ~laughs crazily at the pure epica insanity~
    I can't WAIT for you to type up more!! :D

    I don't even know where to began Skylara! But I love it all! I can't even pick out one favorite part cause there are so many!
    This is EPICA!!!!
    I had so much fun reading it! :D
    Can't wait for more.
    But even mor eimportant to me is....I CAN'T WAIT TO CHAT WITH YOU AGAIN!
    Missing you horribly!

  8. Epic! Amazing, Skylara xD

    Three of my favorite things, all wrapped up into one story: Skulduggery Pleasant fanfic, Sherlock Holmes, and Doctor Who. Perfect.

    I've had an idea for a while now about writing a short, maybe half page fanfic with a visit from the doctor and Ameilia Pond, maybe even Dr.Song, but on more hostile terms. He wouldn't know anyone and no-one would know him...there woils probably be some babbling and horribly written dialogue by me... I'm just going to stick to reading this awesome this fanfic, actually.

    “Time traveller, alien, good, time machine, hero, bow ties, darleks, got it?” :D Bow ties!

  9. "Woils"? Wth? I meant 'would'. Stupid iPod correction...

  10. LOL! thanks hellboy! I really think you should do that idea! You are an amazziinnng writer with wonderful ideas and you should never doubt them.

    lol bow ties are cool.


  12. This is a mindfudge. It is fudging my mind.

    I want to write a crackfic now.

    I will write it after GCSEs...

    I'd love to be in it Niall!

    And I hope your GCSE's go well! I'm sure they will you utter genius you! :P